seriau

bismillah...

assalamualaikum!~

mne lg dahsyat... buat sesuatu tanpa berfikir atau buat sesuatu tapi memikirkan bende len????????

huhuhu.............. amek pengajaran MUHSINA!!!~ lenkali jgn buat lg kalo tau diri tu emosi xstabil!!

mode: merindui yang pasti xmerindui......
mengenang semua yang pasti tiada gunanya lagi....
menyesal tapi pasti takkan dapat mengubati sesalan.......
mencuba mengubati sesuatu yang dah mati.....


*wordless..............................


till then,
wassalam

sudah ditakdirkan..

bismillah...

assalamualaikum!!~

ade sesape prasan sjk kebelakangan ni blogger ini asyik berpuitis dlm bhse pnjajah?? nk tahu knape??? jom!! mari kita TERJAH...........

"blogger.. blogger.. knape awak asyik mggunakan bhse pnjajah... ?? adakah awk terlalu mengagumi bhse pnjajah ini??"

"owh, tidak!! bukan begitu sbnrnya... tapi takdir da menentukan saye mggunakan bhse omputih itu... maka itulah sbb sy berbhse begitu"


byk la die punye takdir semate2!!!!


psst!!.... kisah diatas ni hanye rekaan semate2 lah...


sbnrnye... ape y sy cube smpaikan disini ialah.... satu bende tu xkn terjadi dgn sndirinye dan mesti ade pelakunye maka baru bende tu berlaku... logically mmg cmtu kn???

so conslusionnye disini... b4 kite nk ckp y sumthin tu sudah ditakdirkan Allah Taala... mesti ade sumthin y kite as hamba Allah da bwt y menyebabkan sumthin tu berlaku...

so renungan utkmu MUHSINA... n utk readers juge... sntiase muhasabah blk ape y kite da bwt coz kite xpnh taw mgkin satu2 bende tu adelah satu teguran dari Allah Taala utk kite atau rahmat Allah utk kite perbaiki diri... wallahualam... (yang penting sntiase bersangka baik!~)


sgala y baik tu dtg dr Yang Maha Pencipta.. yang buruk dan segala kekhilafan dtg dr diri blogger ni y masih byk lg kekurangan dan sntiasa melakukan kesalahan....

till then,
wassalam...

I'VE DETERMINED! =)

bismillah...

assalamualaikum!!~

im sorry... although this is the next entry after the last one but i still dont have dat thing with me... huhu... (no worries, MUHSINA.. u'll have it by the end of this month... )

actually bende ni berlaku sgt unpredictable... i never thought i manage to do dat... but anyway... not too much to tell...

it's juz dat... i've decided n i manage to make it come true (its quite surprising actually...) huhu....

till then, wassalam....

p/s : muhsina!!! igt janji Allah ini....

"LA YUKALLIFULLAHUNAFSAN ILLA WUS'AHA"

_bersabarlahsayangku_

gud girl!! =)

bismillah....

assalamualaikum!!~

alhmdulillah... after few weeks of being undecided... i've FINALLY make up my mind!!!! and its good from every aspects~ yeah!!

only Allah knows what I've been through to finally come to this stage of mind... thank You Allah!~ =)

it maybe sound silly or quite exaggerating to some people but to me its really not easy to make this decision.... (though sometym i also think its quite absurd... haha)

but anyway... lets not think about other people and concentrate just to oneself (which is me ofcoz..)

i'll have it one day n masenye xlame dah... so no worries.. one day u'll be able to hold it within ur own hand MUHSINA!! wee~~

(i hope by the next entry i'll have it already.. hoho..)

so till then,

wassalam...

dedicated to you!~

bismillah..

assalamualaikum!~

entry kali ni I nk dedicate utk this one special person... i'll juz call him U...

the story begins with.......

_______________________________________________________________

the first tym i meet U...

"ishh.. die ni nmpk cm garang la... cm xsyok je klo knl ngan die..." (negative thoughs nih)

the first tym U enter the group...

"hah??!! asal die masok group nih??? hishhh..."

as tym goes by....

"hmmm.. ok gk la die nih... not so bad... igtkn cm xbest..." (pengajaran= dont judge the book by its cover)

makin lame.....

"bestnye dpt group ngan U... U sgt wonderful, very helpful n sgt knowledgeable!! thank You Allah for giving me the peluang utk knl U..."

sedar xsedar......

"ala... da nk kne berpisah ke??? npe mse kjp sgt berlalu??? sygnye.... nnt blom tentu dpt U dlm group y same.."

"xpela... at least U still with me... pls2!! jgn g mane2!! "

hari ni.... 17/12/2009

"U da x dlm my group................. huuuuuu sedihnye!!!!!!! sgt2 sedeyh.......... mse ckp ngan U td... air mate da nk menitik dh.. tp sebek smpat tahan... siyesly, im so sad da xsame group ngan U..... i dunno about others but for me... U adelah slh satu sbb i started to enjoy being here..."

i dunno when i started to admire U.. but his charismatic, his dedication, his determination always keeps me going and it have a big impact in the way i view lyfe....

mungkin skg ni... its tym for me to stand by myself... (btol)

alwez think positive MUHSINA!!.... pasti ade hikmah ats setiap y berlaku..... ( sgt btol)

kot ye pon... for how long u're going to be with him?? (btol2)

sooner or later... u'll have to leave him... (btol)

or maybe he'll leave you earlier... (who knows ryte??)

so jgn terlalu bgntung pd die semate2 utk dptkn semngt tuh.... (yup!!)

its all up to u MUHSINA!! not him, not ur parents, BUT you urself!!!... (chai yokk!! Allahuakhbar!!)

p/s: doaku... moga Allah bukakan pintu hati U utk menerime cahaya keimanan dan nikmat Islam dlm diri die... U da byk sgt bbakti n tolong org.. sgt syg kalau kebaikan tu xberada dlm lndasan y btol... moga doaku dimakbulkan satu hari nnt... amin..

till then, wassalam....

happy!!! =)

bismillah..........

assalamualaikum!!~

after two weeks struggling for final exams.... the mission is accomplished!!! hahaha... yeyy... alhamdulillah....... im sooooooooooo happy n i cant stop myself from 'tersengeh2'... haha......

actually there's soooo many reasons why im hepi la........ hee~~

firstly.. OFCOZ it is bcoz i have finish my final exam of sem 1 year 1 of med school...alhamdulillah.... (although it's juz the end of the exam, not the moment of getting the RESULT... ayyoo that one is scarier la... huhu)

secondly.... i have safely arrived at my home sweet home the same day i finish my exams.... thanks to ALLAH..... weee~~~ nikmat btol lah........... hoho... da la dpt men bowling lak pastu... (regardless all the penat... haha) sgt2 syok!!!! (ofcoz i miss my home soooo much after 8 weeks xblk... haha )

thirdly..... jeng!! jeng!! jeng!!!........... the most interesting reason!!!!!!.... i've got new MP4!!!!!!! yey... haha... akhirnya impian termakbul........ heee swonok y amat.... then... i also got new headset n new bag for my cutest lappy... weee~~~ haha.......

the fourth reason...................... i finally got a chance to buy MORE novels written by my faveret author!!!! JOHN GRISHAM!!!!!!!!! this time i got a chance to buy the latest but not so latest book.... THE ASSOCIATE... (actually the latest one is FORD COUNTY.. tp kt msia ni xkua lg la y tuh.. huhuu..) but anyway.... the second book that i buy is THE RAINMAKER (y nih da lme igt nk bli tp b4 diz kewangan xbrape nk stabil lah.. haha) ahhhhh....!!!!~~ cant wait too read these two books... weeee~~~

ade fifth reason x??? hurmmmm........ pk jap........... as far as im concern only these four la (for this moment.... haha)..... but anyway... thanks to majlis.. (ini y nuha pggil utk MARA... die ckp MARA tu mcm nk marah org je... haha.. so die ckp bek pggil majlis... hahaha..).... btw... nuha is my youngest sister.... =D

alhamdulillah... tercapai jugak misi2 kecik nih... doaku... jgn smpai all these things melekakan n melalaikanku utk mcapai MISI TERBESARKU.... RIDHALLAH>> JANNATULLAH... amin...

*btw... there's a few things y aku still teringin... the first one is DAT camera.. huhu but it will cost me about 2k to 3k atleast (itupon its only for the cikai one) huhu.... then PSP... ayyoo is it too impossible for me to get??? hurm......... but anyway... moge ak tetap ngan decision ak utk XNK tuka fon n lptop!!! insyaAllah........... AMIN!!!!!

p/s: special thanks to akmal coz temankn ritu.. =D

till then,

wassalam.....

my friends....

bismillah.... salam...!!~ kwn2... luangkan sedikit mse kamu sume utk bce blog nih... byk manfaat y leh kite dpt... huhu... sekadar berkongsi... =)

http://holywar-efairy.blogspot.com/

p/s: in my opinion... blog ni sgt best!! rugi klo xbce... huhu

wassalam.......

bkn utkmu...

bismillah.....

ya Allah ya Tuhanku.... kuatkah aku dgn semua dugaanMu ini?? mungkinkah ini salah satu caraMu menguji keimananku?? atau mungkinkah ini balasan utk kealpaanku dgn nikmatMu yg sementara...

ya Allah ya Tuhanku... tabahknlah hati hambaMu ini.... tenangkanlah hatiku dgn ketenangan cahaya kasihMu... limpahkanlah rahmat kasih sayangMu keatas hambaMu yg lemah ini.... aku amat memerlukan kekuatan dariMu ya Allah... terutamanya dalam saat-saat begini ya Allah...

amin ya Rabbal 'alamin.........

(terima kasih kepada insan berkenaan krn mngambil sesuatu y bkn lg mnjd hakku kini..)

_akuredha_

saba eh???

assalamualaikum..

to my dearest sweetheart.... saba la jap... sket je lg... nnt da settle everything.. insyaAllah u will be fine... just b patient k??? =)

p/s: aku masih waras.... (walaupon anta msg kt phone sndiri n bckp ngan diri sndiri....) hahaha

its true...

ALLAH KNOWS BEST.....

Allah knows what is best for us,

so why we should complain,

we always want the sunshine,

but He knows there must be rain,

We always want laughter,

and the merriment for cheer,

but our heart will lose their tenderness

if we NEVER shed a tear...

Allah tests us often...

with sufferings and sorrows,

He tests us, not to punish us

but to HELP us meet tommorrow,

for growing trees are strengthened,

if they can withstand the storm...

Allah tests us often,

and for every pain

he gives us,

provided we are patient

is followed by rich gain,

so whenever we feel that

everything is going wrong,

it is just Allah's way

TO MAKE OUR SPIRIT STRONG!!...

_LAYUKALLIFULLAHUNAFSAN ILLA WUS'AHA_

"Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan menguji seseorang hambaNya melainkan dengan sesuatu ujian yang mampu dia tanggung"

to muhsina: kau mesti kuat!!! yeah!!! klo nk nanges... nanges je... juz let it out... xyh thn2... org kate air mate merupakan kelemahan seorg pompuan.. tp sbnrnya air mate itulah punca segale kekuatan.... mgkin skg ni zmn kegelapan kau.. tp y pasti zmn renaissance pasti akn tibe... =) insyaALLAH!!

p/s: wishing all the best to my friends especially to MD UKM-ACMS students.... moge kite sume dpt mjwb end of module exams n exam final sem 1 nnt dgn jayenye... may Allah bless us with all His blessings... y penting nawaitu hanya keranaNya.. LILLAHITA'ALA... insyaAllah..

Allahuakhbar!!

wassalam....

_FOCUSING ON THE RIGHT THINGS!!!!_

cm best... =)

T- ara & Supernova - TTL (time to love)

must see....

Joheunsaram neoneun naege cheotsarang
Sarangeul gareuchyeo jun saram
Never forget you
I’ll remember you
Gieokhae neo hanaman

Hoksina neoreul bolkka niga sajun oseul ipgo
Niga johahadeon jjarbeunmeorireul hago
Neowa hamkke geotdeon geu gireul jinagagi wihaeseo
Gudji meongireul dorasseo hoksi niga isseulkkabwa
Jeonhwabeonhodo ajik geudaero
Hoksi nareul chajaolkkabwa jipdo geudaero
Nae minihompisoge neowa deutdeon naraeppun
Hoksi niga bolkkabwa dasi doraolkkabwa

Urineun ajik itjil motaenneunde
(Urineun ajik seoro wonhaneunde)
Urin ajik saranghaneunde
(Eotgallyeo) sasireun bogo sipeunde
Michidorok Neoreul bogosipeunde
Haneobsi neol gidaryeo (gyeolguk Neoreul gidaryeo)
Hoksihago meomchwoseo jejarireul maemdone

Joheunsaram neoneun naege cheotsarang
Sarangeul gareuchyeo jun saram
Never forget you
I’ll remember you
Gieokhae neo hanaman

Yo hoksina Neoreul bolkkabwa
Bogedoemyeon heundeullikkabwa
Naemami yakhaejilkkabwa mallabiteun nal boilkkabwa
Neowa Hamkke geotdeon geu gireul pihagi wihaeseo guji
Meongireul dorasseo hoksi niga isseulkkabwa
Jeonhwabeonhodo imi bakkwosseo
Hoksi ni saenggagi nalkka jipdo omgyeosseo
Hajiman ibeseon ajik motan marisae
Hoksi Neoreul bolkkabwa dasi dora olkkabwa

Urineun ajik itjil motaenneunde
(Urineun ajik seoro wonhaneunde)
Urin ajik saranghaneunde
(Eotgallyeo) sasireun bogo sipeunde
Michidorok Neoreul bogosipeunde
Haneobsi neol gidaryeo (gyeolguk Neoreul gidaryeo)
Hoksihago meomchwoseo jejarireul maemdone

(Joheunsaram neoneun naege cheotsarang)
Sarangeul gareuchyeo jun saram
Never forget you I’ll remember you
Gieokhae neo hanaman

Dasi sijakhae malhago sipjiman
Deullijido tto boiji anneun neoreol chatgoisseo

Ssodajineun jangdaebireul majeunchae
Uri cheoeum mannan geugoseuro ganeunde
Jasini neomunado hansimhae dangsinui
Ttaseuhaetdeon jari ajik gaseume
Neon deo gyeondil su inni
Geureom nado jogeumdeo gyeondilteni
Hajiman himi jom deulkkeoya neomu saranghaetjanha
Chameuryeo aereul sseobwasseodo eojjeolsuga eobseo

Hoksirado uyeonho neol bolkkabwa
Geudaega nae moseup bolkkabwa
Geoureul bomyeo nunmureul gamchwo
Hoksina neo olkkabwa (Hoksina geudae naege olkkabwa)
Joheunsaram neoneun naege cheotsarang
Sarangeul gareuchyeo jun saram ( Geudaega nae insaengui cheotsarang)
Never forget you I’ll remember you
Gieokhae neo hanaman (na ajik gieokhae neo hanaman)

p/s: thanx to nisah sbb knl kn... =)

_emotionisjustunstable_

into the new world...

bismillah.....

salam!~

tajuk post kali ni cm tajuk lagu lak kn?? haha........

after weeks berperang ngan perasaan diri sndiri... skg br terase nk menuleh blk.. haha

(bpe lame dh ek aku x tulis blog.....) cm sengal je banned blog sndiri... sengal kn?? ha3..

btw.. ape y ak nk emphasize kn kt sni adelah... skg ak da mule btol2 accepting de way i am ryte now.. i mean... where i stand ryte now.. and what i am suppose to focus on to...

p/s: to my dearest BC... im sorry.. maybe we're not meant to be together... although i've alwez dream about u since i was in standard 4.. but im sorry... u're no longer in my heart...and i am happy with the way i am ryte now...maybe its just..... i'm not the right person for u... huhu

wassalam....

~iownmydreamandmylife~... with the guidance from ALLAH.. insyaAllah...

_intothenewworld_

adushh.... ke arah perubahan??? mungkinkah??

bismillah...

assalamualaikum...!~

hmm tetibe rse cm menyesal lak bce post2 org td... hmm bkn sbb pe pon nanye... tp pasal result end of module exams ritu.... actually mmg da plan xnk pk sgt psl rsult tuh.. tp pas bce post org.. hati trus trase cm xbest... jwpan y pasti sbb ape im not doing soooo well in my exam is because of myself!! bcoz of my own mistakes!! bcoz of my own fault.... huhu jwpn tu mmg i already knoe it from de beginning... (tp bwt jgk kn??? aduhh2!!!!!!)

hmmm.... dlu mgkin im lucky enough coz bce las minute pon alhmdulillah ok.. tp ak taw result kali ni adelah petanda dr Allah utk ak ubh cara ak blaja... klo pk dr sudut positif... ktekan exam ni pon ak lulus after stdy las minute.. high posibility ak xkn ubh cara ak blaja, n by the end of my stdy.. ak boley jamin... ak akn jd antara org2 y nyesal.. huhuhu..

y pnting.. mtlamat utame ak skg adelah:

>ubah cara blajaku... insyaAllah!!

>blaja utk jd doc.. bkn blaja las min utk lulus exam ( coz salunye after exam ak akn lpe ape y dh dbce...ish3)

>blaja smpai berjaye (till memegang title PEDIATRICIAN.. insyaALLAH)>>> kumpul duet... anta umi n ayh g haji... honda civic... n jordan!!! (insyaAllah)

>blaja smpai mati... sbgai bekalan kt sana nnt... insyaAllah...

wish me all the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

till then,

wassalam...

raya!!!! =D

bismillah...

assalamualaikum...

ni antara gamba2 rya y smpat di snap... huhu.. overall raye kali nih best!!! walaupon umayr sorg je xde... tp my fmly ttp having fun.. at least i'm.. (at least maseh dpt brye di m'sia.. haha)

my youngest sis... nuha..

org ckp kami kembar??? owhh tidak... jauh pggang dr api.. haha

(wit my younger sis.. nana.. )

wit ayh n umi.. b4 sesi 'menadah tgn mengisi poket'.. haha

abg, J, ewa, ina.. mlm b4 rye... last minute shoppin..

kt mcd pacific, aloq setaq.. abg blanje!!!

pnt memasak xyh ckp!~ mmg pnt gile.. haha.. tp skali skala kumpol rmai2 xkesah a pnt kejap.. tp y paling syok aku maseh dpt duet rye.. haha... sebek muke ini blom cukup matured utk mhalang dr menerime duet rye... hahaha

till then,

wassalam

its juz a pain...

what hurts the most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that im lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that im lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that im lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that im lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

pengalaman2...

bismillah...

assalamualaikum..!~

semalam... bgn2 pg... (da set dlm mind.. hari ni aku nk blk penang lmbt skit ah.. da janji nk tmn tok g HSB..)

da settle mandi, bsiap sume.. after packing2 all de stuff sume (mcm byk sgt je stuff tuh) n da susun beg tepi katil.. turun la bwh..

"tok.. satg nk p ospital tu kol bpa??"

"pas zohor satg, p njang mai la.. siap cpt.. bang ja trus solat.."

"owkay!"


dipendekkn cite.. tepat jam 4.. tugas menemani tok gi jumpe pakar mate kt HBS (Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah, Aloq Setaq ) pon settle...

"p njang, p njang drop ina kt tpi jln tu pon xpa lah.. satg ina jln la p sana.." (sana tu merujuk kpd Stesen Bas Shahab Perdana, Aloq Setaq)..

kesian kt tok y cm da pening2 tu.. ak pon bwt kputusan xyh la nk susahkn p njang lg.. drop tepi jln dh la.. xyh nk tmn2 ak..

kol 4.45.. bas pon bergerak menuju jeti butterworth....

jam 6 lbey.. terpacaklah kt stesen bas butterworth 2.. usha kiri.. usha kanan.. mne la bas 601 neyh.. pale da berdenyut2 blk nih... igt dmm smlm da recover.. adoii..

(dlm pikiran.. bas ooooo bas... jgn la dtg lmbt2.. cne la den nk bbuke dlm bs neyh...)

jam 7.10.. bas 601 pon smpai...

jam 7.15... bas mule meninggal platform..

(dlm ati.. huuu peningnye pale... sabo2.. sabo muhsina... be tough!!! pose2 nih kne byk sabo...)

jam 7.20... msg dr kama, dyiana n akmal pon masok... sume ala2 berbunyi.. "muhsina, da azan.. slamat bbuke.. "

ngan penoh redha.. ak capai buger MarryBrown y smpatku bli kt shahab td... n air tropicana twister buah tgn jeti butterworth..

maka.... bermulah episod berbuke pose didlm bas RAPIDPENANG bernombor 601....

sob3... mase tu pndg kiri pndg kanan.. baruku sedar... cm xnmpk pon any pompuan pkai tudung kt sni.. any lelaki berupa ala2 melayu pon xde... mcm xde any single muslim pon dlm ni.. except me n de pakcik driver kt dpn tuh..

huuuu.. sedeyhnye tym tu... wlaupon pnglmn ni xseteruk mse first tym blk dr kl sorg2... n sesat kt island kol 4 pg... tp ttp sedeyh... waaaaa.... cm nk nanges je.. ( dlm ati.. sabo2.. sabo muhsina... pengalaman nih... pengalaman!!!)

dpndekkn cite lg... kol 9 lbey... ak da slamat mjejakkn kaki kt pv... wahhh!! rase tym tu mcm home sweet home!!! (uma pv pon ok la... janji ak da slamaT!!) thanx 2 yana coz pick me up kt kailan... muax2!!

tpt jam 9.30 mlm.. seusai mandi, unpacking n solat isya' sume.. mate da smakin berpinar... suhu bdn mkin meningkat...

(katil2!!!! satu2nye bende bermain dipikiran.. )

sesaat kemudian... already off to LALALA land!!!~~



p/s: muhsina xsolat terawih mlm nih... sob2.. demam itu membatas segalanya... =(


wassalam...

23 Ramadhan 1430 H bersamaan 13 September 2009 M

setiap kali....

setiap kali mendapat nikmat

jarangku sedari itu pemberianMu

terkadang rasa itu kerana

segala usaha dan penat lelahku sahaja

setiap kali ditimpa musibah

ku mengeluh risau bertambah gelisah

hingga terlupa padaMu Allah

tempat kembali segala masalah

oh Tuhan yang Maha Penyayang

leraikanlah aku dari keluh kesah

yang membelenggu jiwa dan fikiran

ditambah dengan hasutan syaitan

kurniakanlah kepadaku ketabahan

singkapkanku hikmah segala ketentuan

moga sinarMu berikanku pedoman

hanya padaMu segala ketetapan

seandainya diri ini

mampu meraih cinta dan keredhaanMu

seandainya akulah insan yang terpilih

ku pilih hidupku......

special thanx to -devotees-

i want it back... i can't?!!

bismillah...~

jam menunjukkn tepat 12.57 tgh mlm... jariku pntas menari2 di papan kekunci...saat itu juga.. fikiranku melayang lagi ke arah dia... entah keberapa kali... Tuhan saja mengiranya..

dulu.. ku keseorangan..
kemudian..
ku ketemui dia...
namun... kutinggalkn dia..
sekarang.. ku kehilangan dia...
lalu pantaskah kini ku mendapatkn dia kmbali??

fikiran melayang jauh meninggalkn pntas realiti..

dulu kau punyai dia... kau biarkan dia..
saat kau menangis.. kau cari dia..
saat dia menangis... dia pndamkn sndiri...
lalu pantaskah kau disisinya lagi??
pantaskah kau mendapatkn dia kmbali??

dulu...
kala kau merasa.. dia mengalaminya dahulu..
kala dia sebak... air mata kau jauh dahulu...
kala kau sedih.. dia yang merana dahulu..
kala dia gembira... ketawa kau pecah dahulu..

kini...
kau sendiri.. dia entah bagaimana...
dia gembira.. smpaikah khabar itu padamu??
kau menangis.. siapa di sisimu??
dia kesunyian.. dimana bahumu utk dpinjamkn??

mungkin.. ini pengajaran utkku...
slhku.. mmendam rse hati tnpa byk bicara... lalu ku tggalkn dia saat lubuk hati xmmpu berthn lg..
saat diri meminta utk menyendiri... ku biarkan dia tnpa sbarang kata..
ku biar dia mncari pelabuhan baru utk melabuhkan diri..
kini.. sesalan menguasai rongga hati.. kangen utk dimaafi..

lantas...
bagaimana caranya utkku ukir kata2 kmbali... mampukah aku berdiri dan berbicara kmbali.. memintanya utk memaafknku.. tidakku harap dia menerimaku kmbali.. sekadar memaafkn diri ini.. sudah ckup utkku teruskn hidup kmbali...

ya ukhti.. sohabati.. kawanku.. temanku.. sahabatku..
im sorry for everything... aku tak berani utk meluahknnya didpnmu..
aku harap.. kau faham luahan ini ditujukan utkmu..........


wassalam....

syahdu dtg lg...

bismillah...



assamualaikum..!!~



first of all...

ahlan wa sahlan Ramadhan Al Kareem!!!

"jika semua harta adalah racun..

ZAKAT adalah penawarnya..

jika keseluruhan umur adalah dosa..

TAUBAT adalah ubatnya..

jika seluruh tahun adalah noda..

maka RAMADHAN lah pemutihnya..."

alhmdulillah.. tahun ni msih diberi ksmpatan hidup utkku berpuase..

"YA RABBI..

syukran jazillan ya Rabb..

ku harap Ramadhan kali ini beri 1001 peluang utkku berubah..

berubah ke arah yg lbih baik..

dan menunaikn azamku..

insyaAllah.."

ape azamku utk ramadhan kali ini xperluku ukir di sini.. biar hanya aku dan Dia y tahu...

semlm.. aku, mas, faris,nadia, mimah, n fifi g surau dpn pv ni.. alhmdulillah.. rmai jemaah y dtg.. penuh satu surau tu... dlm wktu antara terawih tu.. tetibe fikiran melayang lg..

"hmm.. klo kt rumah skg ni.. mesti dorg sume ngah smyang jemaah skali... skg ni kt umah ade ayah, ummi, ewa, nana n nuha je.. klo ina ade gk mesti best... uhuhu..."

ya Allah.. rindunye aku saat itu ngan ayahku.. ngan dakapan erat ayah.. ngan kate2 semngat ayah.. ngan redup mate ayah memandangku.. hanye Engkau y fhm betape ak sgt merindui ayah...!!!

ku juga rindu ngan ummi... mskkn ummi.. uishh.. sdpnye klo dpt mkn mskkn ummi tym bukak pose nnt.. aduhhh.. sabarla wahai perut.. bkn msanya lg utk kau diisi dgn mskn ummi..

bak kate org.. absent make heart grow fonders.. yup!!~ dats definitely correct!!

bile aku kt sni br aku ayik terkenangkn USRATI..

umai kt nz tu cne?? ok ke die??.. hmm jgn riso... umai mesti oknye.. die kn ebat.. ini bkn 1st tym pon die pose kt sne...

ngan aim kt jasin tu.. sian die.. ngan migrain die lg.. ntah da ok ke blom..

munje kt perlis tuh lak.. ntah bile la last tym i meet him..

n ngan abg siddiq kt mlake tu.. abg.. b strong eh?? bunga bukan sekuntum.. i know at de end PERMATA y abg cr akn jmpe gk diseblk timbunan kaca tu..

ya Allah.. susah tol my whole family nk gather sesame... msing2 ade urusan msing2... huhu..

papepon...

moga ramadhan kali ini bawa seribu barakah...

utk ku dan usrati..

sahabat2ku.. di sini atau di mne2 shje..

n seluruh kaum muslimin n muslimat..

either di palestin, di iraq, di selatan thailand..

wa kulli makkan wa kulli zaman... amin..

tibe mase utk:

setting niat..

upgrade iman..

download sabar..

upload usaha..

delete dosa..

update doa..

n topup ilmu sebyk2nya..

agarku dpt redeem pahala sebyk mungkin.. insyaALLAH..

salam ramadhan al-mubarak...!!~

wassalam...

miss u......

bismillah...

assalamualaikum!~~~

tibe2 knangan lame mengusik ruang benakku...
sob2.. i miss u guys!! uhu... ;(
teringt zmn2 pre-med dlu... syoknye klo mse bley diputar kmbali.. uhuhu...!!~

afiq......

zmn berbowlink d megamall.... =(

tqah n izzul..... =(

zmn mkn2 d mcd di megamall...

tqah!!~ kecomeylan kmu sntiase di mindaku.. =(



fayad n peter!!~ peter.. rindu kpoyoanmu!!..




pait... kesengalan kmu!!

akma n umai!!! rindu saat2 ngan kmu..

batu feringgi.. wit k laila...

n to all my other premed frenz... USU or UKRIDA or anywhere else... :

gudluck in ur life...

may success follow u in every step u take..

be strong in wut eva situation...

moge2 kite sume jd doctor y berjaye... amin....

wassalam....

thank you.....365XXX !!!~~

bismillah..


assalamualaikum..!~~


thank you guys... thank you soo much!! especially to my ousm8... D, nisah, yana, n sha... sgt2 terharu...!!~ thanx gk kt ieyla coz sudi jd rkan subahat mereke bwk daku ke secret recipe..^-^!! n thanx 2 sha coz pnt2 bwt kek choclate tu n bwt surprise kt kls td... shedap2!!!~~ wee... haha.. n thanx to all my MD collegues!!!~muaxX!~

i wish for..........................?!!~~

shedap2!! ^-^

wit yana!~~ tQ yana...

wit my luvly ousm8.. muahh2!!

saat titisan hmpir menitis.. hehe~

once again.. thanx to my ousm8 n all my frenz...to ira, syira, nurun, supe, musyee, yam, ain n y len2.. although we'r far apart but u guys are alwez in my heart...

a special thanx to:

my bestest ayah.. i lurv u ayah!! 4eva n alwez...

my beloved ummi.. thanx coz lahirkn daku ke dunia ini...

abg siddiq

ewa

umai

munje

aim

nana

nuha

thanx for being de best siblings ever...

lastly..... HEPI BURFDAY MUHSINA!!!

MAY ALLAH BLESS U THROUGHOUT UR LYFE!!

IT??????

bismillah..

assalamualaikum!~


nk taw sumthin?? actually skg ni ina dlm computer lab kt seri serdang.. ade kelas IT... DR. CHAN aja.. huhuhu... agk b*ring la.. adeyyy.. ngantok pon ade gk... hehe..


k lah... nk focus.. (kunun je nihh..) till then.. daa~

wassalam...

2.30 pm 10/08/2009

thanx..

bismillah...

assalamualaikum!~

bak kate org... simple but sweet... so... thanx 2 'u' and all myfrenz for being my fren... hehe...
nytez... daa~~ (nk tido da nanye ni.. tp rse nk tuleh gk.. huhu)

k.. till then...

wassalam...

sheena??? mukhsin???

bismillah..



Assalamualaikum!~~


ever wonder why i put sheena as my name here?? huhuhuhu.. nanye ade kisah disebalik name sheena tu.. klo nk taw, dr kecik smpai skg... my beloved,bestest dad mmg call me musheena... or sheena... even fmly belah ayh pon call me sheena.. dunno why.. mybe org jawe xreti pronounce ina kot?? ehehe.. xtaw2!! =P


then 1 lg kes why i choose sheena instead of my common name, ina... nanye... aku ni jenis y cpt terharu sket... so everytime org bwt sumthin y touching skit... air mate dicmpor ngan air noseku sng sgt mengalir... huhu.. so dikalangan org y agk close ngan aku kt seseri dlu... nme SYAHDU 2 agk common la... sbb tu... bile syahdu + ena = SH_ENA @ sheena... ahaha =P



then fakta ke-3... tym prmd dulu.... wktu sem 3... Mr. Quah n Mr. Banoo start calling me mushena.... i dont really mind actually.. tp dunno why, everytym dlm tutor 3... either mr Quah or mr B pggil me ngan nme tu.. mesti akn dgr suare2 sumbang dr blakang... "mushena... mushena.. mushena..." (especially dr row m**zir, m*wi n kom**g...) aiii pelik sgt ke nme tuh??? ke jeles?? hahaha... (xberasas lgsg...)



psl MUKHSIN lak...

aku igt lg.. mse br memule msok seseri dlu, ade perjmpaan KRS... akak2 senior pnh tye aku..




akak senior.... "muhsina... ni nk pggil awk ape ni?? muhsina ni pnjg sgt la.. skema pon ade gk.. awk xde ke... nicknme ke, pggilan mnje ke??"


ngan muke y agk innocent.. (xnk cr psl ngan senior nanye..) "hmm.. klo kt umah org pggil sy ina, kak..."


akak senior... "ina?? ish2 xleh2... tu nme KP tuh.. kak ina.. xleh2.. xde nme laen??"


adehH.. xley pulak dah... "hmm klo kt skola lme dulu... org pggil sy C... boley x kak??


akak senior.. "C??? xley2.. itu mcm nme akak ni ha (smbil tunjuk kt pengerusi KRS).. kak sil.. laen2???


pulak dh... aishh femes sgt ke nme aku ni smpai sume xley??... "hmm tu je nme y org pggil sy kak... ( dlm ati... itu je nme y sy bg org pggil sy, kak)"


akak senior... "ha... aku ade nme utk ko... mulai skg.. aku pggil ko muhsin.. ok??"


adoiii... nme tu lg... dr dlu ak cube elak org pggil nme tuh.. "hmm.. ok la kak... xkesah lah.. jnji sy ade nme.." (ngan muke y innocent lg.. walaupon dlm ati agk mbara... yelah, ske2 ati je tuka nme aku.. hishh...



ngan membe2 rpt.. dorg still call me ina.. until one day.....



"ina2... taw x ade satu filem nih br kua... cite melayu... ko taw x nme die pe??"


"ala... cite melayu ke?? mls la..."


"X2.. ak taw ko xske cite mlyu tp ni ak nk gtaw ni.... nme cite tu kn... MUKHSIN!!!"



sjk hr y xsyok tuhhh... sume member2 mulai menukarkn nicknme ku...

dr kiri, kanan, dpn, blakang, atas, bwh.... "mukhsin!! mukhsin!! mukhsin!!"

aishhhh..........




so conclusion kt sni... everytime org kaitkn aku ngan nme MUKHSIN tu... mmg ak xske... even fyi, aku lahir dlu compare ngan mukhsin tuh k.. huh!! (emo lak.... haha =P)



till then.... daa~~



wassalam....

atok... soriii...

bismillah...



assalamualaikum!~


huhuhu.. akhirnye.. H1N1 mnyerang gk acms... a bad news or a good news??? hmm... complicated gk la jwpn die.. ahaha...

im currently kt kl.. ahaha wekend ritu br je blk, skg blk lg.. ehehe.. home sweet home la ktekan.. (kunun je nih)...


nk cite nih.... hmmm mse dlm bas nk blk kl td kn, i meet one atok ni.. sian sgt die... da bergelar warge emas cmtu pon still nek bas sorg2, travel jaoh dr penang ke kl all by himself...

actually, rse berslh sgt kt atok tu.. coz im suppose 2 sit next to him, tp im running away n dok kt sit kosong kt blakang coz nk dok gk ngan dak2 len..


mse bhenti kt rnr kn, F(one of my fren)cite... mse nk bli air, atok 2 brato kt kaunter nk byr... then...


atok (ngan tgn y kosong)..."brape harge??"


cashier.. "pakcik, pkcik nk byr utk ape nih??"



atok... "tu, air y kt dlm peti ais tu.."



hmmmmmm....


then... mse bs da nk grk, atok tu xnek lg taw... tgk2 kt bwh... die tgk pusing2 stesen minyak tu then knocking pintu bas len igt tu bs ke kl... sdgkn bs sbnrnye sblh die je mse tu... ngan rse bslh y sgt mdlm.... ina pon turun la bas g approach atok tu...



ina... "pakcik... pakcik... bas kite y ni(smbil tunjuk kt bs kt sbelah)"


atok... "hah?? owhh.... time kasih.. time kasih..."



hmmmmmmmm....




then... 2nd stop kt rnr len... die turun lg... atok 2 msok kdai n looking for a drink lg.. D(my rumate) cite.... atok tu tye mne tmpt nk byr sdgkn tmpt byr tu dkt je ngan die..



after byr tu... atok tu cm nk jln2 kt lua kdai tu taw.. n at the same tym, drver bas y tgh byr kt kaunter tu ckp... "kk.. bas nk grk da ni.."


me (ngan rse bslh y msih tebal... tapping slowly bahu atok tu)... "pakcik2, bas nk grk da tu.."



atok (ngan mke y agk frust.. myb sbb bas nk grk cpt sgt kot..)... "owhhh... haiiiihhhh.. ok2"




ngan sdaye upye atok tu abeskn air y die tgh minum.... i think atok tu igt xley bwk minuman dlm bas kot... sian tgk die abeskn air tu cpt2...




lastly, mse da smpai stesen duta, atok tu turun... struggling amek beg die kt tmpt smpan beg tu n dok kt kusi tpi tu... it seems like he is waiting 4 sum one..



dlm ati.....



"hmmm.. im sooo sori atok... im suppose to sit next to u n i knoe i cn assist u more... n help u even more..."



disebbkn selfish n xnk dok jaoh dr kwn2, ina sggop bia atok tu struggle sgsorg doin sumthin dat i knoe die xpnh buat..

even worse, memule ina cm nk nyumpah je relatives die y bia die travel sorg2... tp ape beze ina ngan dorg??? bia je die bsusah pyh sndiri n ina xtlg... sme je kn??????


moral of de story.... ina berazam... in the future, if its happen for me to come across same situation, i wont be as selfish as i am today... as a doctor later on.. of coz patients' benefits are
alwez my main priority!!!

(ingt nk tuleh reflective writing rini... tp tuleh post ni pon kire cm sme gk la kn?? heheh... )

k lah... till we meet again.... daa~~`

wassalam....

H191???

bismillah...

assalamualaikum~

hohoho.. yeyey esok cuti!! esok cuti!! ahaha...

H191?? amende tuh?? disease baru? viral infection br?? haha.. actually td pas abes kls... dr. tahir(our co-ordinator) ckp la psl one of the ukm lcturer y nk dtg acms.. then.. one of my collegue, H (nme dirhsiakn ats sbb2 peribadi) ngan penoh smgt waja...

"sir, i think my home is the most safer place to prevent this H191..."

hehe.. sori kwn... tp seyesly lawak ah td...

hmm.. klo dulu mse disease H1N1 ni br merebak kt mexico... sorg insan ni ade ckp.. ha ni xlame lg msia cmpem kne gk... tup2... btol ah.. msia pon skg da jd neg y kne disease nih.. ish2... sng btol merebak kn??

papepon.. ade a disadvntages n advntages disease ni.. y plg utme.. hehe... sbb disease ni la kitorg dpt cuti free walaupon sbnrnye ukm kt kl uh y ade cases... hehehe

so moral of the story.. bak kte dr eddie n dr nabisha... alwez look things on de bright side.. hehe

k.. got to go...
sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! daa~

wassalam..

tired!~~

bismillah..

assalamualaikum!~

huhu.. rini genap la 2 mggu ku bergelar md student... waaaa cm xpecye... seyesly.. klo dulu premed pon cm xcye... ni lak md.. adeiii.. ya Allah.. bley ker ak wat nih?? muhsina!!! chaiyok2!!

hmm.. seyesly penat la skg nih.. klo dlu tym premed blk kls ley lg layan john grisham's, lyn korean.. skg nih.... adeiiii blk2 je crik bntal.. blk2 cr bntal.. da la uma jaoh skg.. huhu... klo xkurus gk nih xtaw la... ahaha...

tym ppd camp tu best!!! dh lme xrse syok cmtu... uhuu windu btol nk kayaking, flyingfox sume tuh.. wawaaaa... thx 2 all!! muaxx2!!! luv the camp...

papepon.. currently ak ade kt uma... sebek curi2 blk kl gk... hohoho.. muhsina.. muhsina... klo xlast minute dcision mmg xsah.. haha...

k lah... da lwt nih.. gtg.. sleep3!!!! daa~

wassalam

packing2!!!

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...


salam!~~

huhu actually ina br blk dr clbrate bsday ummi wit ayah, ewa, nana n nuha.. walaupon td kecoh gle kt restoran tuh ngan berkumpolnye sume anak2 girls ayh.. tp ku ttp terfikir.. kn syok klo my whole fmly ade..klo anak2 boys ayh pon ade... klo la abg, umai, munje n aim pon ade.. hmm kn lg havoc tmpt tu kitorg bwt.. huhu..

ayh ckp.. td bkn sekadar clbrate bsday ummi je, tp gk clbrate ina dpt smbong md ukm.. n jgk clbrate ewa da abes phrmcy n ngah tggu twrn keje.. huhu.. walaupon kitrg juz mkn kt restoran biase je.. tp ttp akn jd slh satu knangan my fmly..

hmm seigt ina.. jrg sgt kitorg nk kumpol 1 fmly... even rye pon umai xblk... so utk genapkn angka 10 org fmly mmbers tu sgt pyh la.. esok.. ayh n umi da nk kne anta ina blk penang... utk smbong md.. ish2.. sdeyh la.. dpt spend mse, lepak2 kt umah ni semggu je.. tp.. ade hikmah gk ina xpilih utk xfly ke usu.. huhu.. at least nnt mse abg kawen ina ade kt sni lg.. yey.. swonok ble pk im still going to be a part of de event.. yes2!! hoho..

papepon.. nk xnk kne stat packing brg da nih.. sok ptg da nk btolak g sne.. kang ade y kne mara ngan ummi lak pasni.. haha... k got to rush!!~~~ daa~

wassalam..

ummi...

bismillahirrahmanirrahim....


salam..!!~

Setelah memerah otak, berhmpas pulas mencari2 tajuk utk my first posting kt blog ni...akhirnye jmpe gk...

mungkin takdir Allah... hr ni br hati ni terbuke kmbali utk menulis..

mungkin takdir Allah jugak hr ni ku terbace post by yaya kt blog premed tu..

n definitely ini qada' dan qadar Allah... hr ni jgak merupakn burfdae seorg insan y tlh bersusah pyh melahirkn, menyusukan, mbesarkn, dan mdidikku tnpe jemu hingga ku mjadi diriku y sekarang....

mmg meleleh2 air mate ditmbah ngan cecair jernih dr lubang noseku bile bce post yaya tuh...
mmg sgt2 xdinafikn.. ku mmpunyai persamaan ngan watak dlm cite tuh..

dilahirkan sbg anak y ke 5 dr 8 org adik beradik, ku bukanlah seorg anak manje atau anak kesygn..sejak kecil, ummi tlh mengajarku erti bdikari, bangkit dr kegagalan tnpa bntuan org lain, dan sntiase mngaku keslhn sendiri... ummi jugk sentiase bersikap tegas dlm mdidikku agr jgn mnyusahkn org lain dan sntiase berusaha mcari jln mnyelesaian dgn usaha sndiri... ummi slalu pesan... pandai buat pndai tanggung.. jgn sesekali mnyusahkn org len...

mungkin sbb itu juga, ina lebih rpt dgn ayah, byk bercerite ngan ayah and kdg2 tuh smpai mgguris ati ummi.. im soo sorry ummi.. ina btol2 xberniat sbegitu.. cume ina rse ina lbey selese bercerite ngan ayh n ina xnk mnyusahkn ummi n bwt ummi btmbh tnsion n myb saket ummi dtg lg..

apepon.. ummi... ina xkn pernah lupe.. ina xkn pernah lupe jnji y terdetik dlm ati ina saat umai nk fly ke new zealand utk smbong medic aritu... ina tgk tyme tu ummi nanges smbil peluk umai.. ina taw ummi, dlm ati ummi.. umai adelah anak y terbaik.. umai slalu jd ebat.. ebat dlm semua aspek.. mse umai dpt pelajar cemerlang kseluruhan mrsm dulu pon ummi nanges sbb umai...

saat tu jgk.. saat air mate ummi mengalir kt airport tu.. ina da tekad.. ina akn buat ummi nanges jgk utk ina!! bukan nanges sbb kecewa tp ina akn bwt ummi nanges sbb bangge!! anak ummi ni y slalu nakal, salu susahkn ummi saat terpkse amek ina kt skola ble ina saket, salu lawan ckp ummi, and salu xdgr ckp.. anak ummi y ni lah akan turut berjaye mggenggam ijazah n title sbg seorg doctor!! dan jnji ina jugak... ina nk bwk ayah dan ummi g baitullahil harram MEKAH almukarramah... insyaAllah...

buat ummi.. Ruzaimah binti Ibrahim.. slamat hari lahir y ke-46.. smoge Allah sntiase mberkati ummi di dunia dan di akhirat kelak.. smoge ummi pnjg umur dan sntiase dimurahkn rezeki.. dari anakmu y sntiase menyayangimu..
Muhsina binti Hassan..

wassalam...