Saturday, May 19, 2012

critical reflection on my elective posting. ^^


*this is a true copy of the critical reflection on my elective posting which was done during my 3th year semester breaks... at first i thought to take this one as THE elective posting but surely, being a teacher give me the most memorable experiences.. ;)


When I first ask my mother to help me find a job as a teacher in Al-Amin Islamic Secondary School, Gombak (SMIAAG), I was skeptical either I can teach or not. To tell the truth, I really looked down to myself because in my head, I always believe that I am a very bad teacher. Even my 2 younger sisters keep on telling me I am a bad teacher because whenever they ask me questions regarding their homework; I rarely knew how to cater them with guides on how to answer the questions. Which then I subsequently will ask them to go and ask my elder sister which in my opinion is a much better teacher than I am.

Though initially I doubt my ability to teach, I challenge myself to prove that I can teach. That is why I choose my elective posting to be a teacher. I work there as a substitute teacher for about 2 months or more accurately for the whole semester breaks. For the first month, I substitute a teacher who teaches Chemistry form 4 and Science form 3. It was unimaginable at first to teach such heavy subjects to form four students and PMR candidates. However, I believe that everything happen for a reason and God will always give the best for His servants. That is why I put my best effort to teach the students.  

Whereas, for the other 1 month I have to substitute a teacher who teaches History form 4 and Geography form 3 and 1. This time, it really strikes me because previously during my time as a school student, History is one of the subjects that I dislike because of the factual and its long explanations. But likewise, I believe that everything that comes in my way is always for my best interest and therefore I put my best to revise and restudy the subject for the good of my students.

I can clearly remember for the first class I enter, which is a form 4 Chemistry class; my hand was shaking and trembling. It is a completely different feeling from sitting next to patient, taking history and examines the patient. I could feel that all eyes are on me and ready to condemn me because I am a new teacher. Furthermore, I am scared I might give them wrong information about the topics that I need to teach. I already did my best to prepare for the class; I do notes, I read the books but I am still surrounded by worries that I might teach the students inadequately.

In addition, as an Islamic secondary school, all the students have additional classes of tilawah and hafazan every morning. So, the teachers have to teach and guide the students during these tilawah and hafazan classes. At first, a lot of thoughts come to my mind, for examples, am I good enough in these areas to correct and guide them? Or what if it is me who need the guidance? Then I quickly erase these thoughts and plant in new thoughts. If I do mistakes, I will apologize, if I need guidance, I will quickly find one, and if I lack of knowledge, I will seek more knowledge before entering the classes. With these thoughts I embrace myself with a hope that I can do well, insyaAllah.

From this experience I have learned that we will never know our true capability whether we are good or bad at something until we try to do it by ourselves. I never knew that I can teach but this experience have prove that I can, insyaAllah. Secondly, I have learned that to be successful in some area, we need to master that area first. As for me, I really thought that teaching all those subjects are very difficult, but with great effort and luck, Alhamdulillah I manage to do it.

From this experience, I have also learned that a good teacher is someone who teaches not only with mind, but also with heart. Because I believe that being a teacher is a really noble job. There is a saying, "GIVE ME A FISH AND I EAT FOR A DAY, TEACH ME TO FISH AND I EAT FOR A LIFE TIME". This must be a philosophy of a good teacher. In my opinion, a teacher should be patient and kind, flexible and resourceful, tolerant and open minded with a good sense of humor. A teacher should also be honest, helpful, humble and modest. I really would like to express thousand millions of gratitude to all my teachers since I was a school child until now. It is true that learning process never end until the day we took our last breath.

*alhamdulillah thummal hamdulillah... ;)

ALLAH know!

"dan Dialah y menidurkan kamu pada mlm hari dan Dia mengetahui apa y kamu kerjakan pada siang hari. kemudian Dia membangunkan kamu pada siang hari utk disempurnakan umurmu y telah ditetapkan. kemudian kepadaNya tempat kamu kembali, lalu Dia memberitahukan kepadamu apa y tlh kamu kerjakan." Al-An'am 6: 60

motivating one-self!~

"la yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha"
Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya" al-Baqarah 2: 286

~~kadang kala Allah sembunyikan matahari, Dia datangkan petir dan kilat.. kita tertanya-tanya, kemana hilangnya mentari?? rupa-rupanya Allah gantikannya dengan sang pelangi yang indah... ^_^