*this is a true copy of the critical reflection on my elective posting which was done during my 3th year semester breaks... at first i thought to take this one as THE elective posting but surely, being a teacher give me the most memorable experiences.. ;)
CRITICAL
REFLECTION
When I first ask my mother to help
me find a job as a teacher in Al-Amin Islamic Secondary School, Gombak (SMIAAG), I was skeptical either I can teach or not. To
tell the truth, I really looked down to myself because in my head, I always
believe that I am a very bad teacher. Even my 2 younger sisters keep on telling
me I am a bad teacher because whenever they ask me questions regarding
their homework; I rarely knew how to cater them with guides on how to answer the
questions. Which then I subsequently will ask them to go and ask my elder sister
which in my opinion is a much better teacher than I am.
Though
initially I doubt my ability to teach, I challenge myself to prove that I can teach.
That is why I choose my elective posting to be a teacher. I work there as a
substitute teacher for about 2 months or more accurately for the whole semester
breaks. For the first month, I substitute a teacher who teaches Chemistry form
4 and Science form 3. It was unimaginable at first to teach such heavy subjects
to form four students and PMR candidates. However, I believe that everything
happen for a reason and God will always give the best for His servants. That is
why I put my best effort to teach the students.
Whereas, for the other 1 month I have
to substitute a teacher who teaches History form 4 and Geography form 3 and 1. This
time, it really strikes me because previously during my time as a school
student, History is one of the subjects that I dislike because of the factual
and its long explanations. But likewise, I believe that everything that comes
in my way is always for my best interest and therefore I put my best to revise
and restudy the subject for the good of my students.
I can clearly remember for the
first class I enter, which is a form 4 Chemistry class; my hand was shaking and
trembling. It is a completely different feeling from sitting next to patient,
taking history and examines the patient. I could feel that all eyes are on me
and ready to condemn me because I am a new teacher. Furthermore, I am scared I might
give them wrong information about the topics that I need to teach. I already did
my best to prepare for the class; I do notes, I read the books but I am still
surrounded by worries that I might teach the students inadequately.
In addition, as an Islamic
secondary school, all the students have additional classes of tilawah and
hafazan every morning. So, the teachers have to teach and guide the students
during these tilawah and hafazan classes. At first, a lot of thoughts come to
my mind, for examples, am I good enough in these areas to correct and guide
them? Or what if it is me who need the guidance? Then I quickly erase these
thoughts and plant in new thoughts. If I do mistakes, I will apologize, if I need
guidance, I will quickly find one, and if I lack of knowledge, I will seek more
knowledge before entering the classes. With these thoughts I embrace myself
with a hope that I can do well, insyaAllah.
From this experience I have learned
that we will never know our true capability whether we are good or bad at
something until we try to do it by ourselves. I never knew that I can teach but
this experience have prove that I can, insyaAllah. Secondly, I have learned
that to be successful in some area, we need to master that area first. As for
me, I really thought that teaching all those subjects are very difficult, but
with great effort and luck, Alhamdulillah I manage to do it.
From
this experience, I have also learned that a good teacher is someone who teaches not only
with mind, but also with heart. Because I believe that
being a teacher is a really noble job. There is a saying, "GIVE ME A FISH AND I EAT
FOR A DAY, TEACH ME TO FISH AND I EAT FOR A LIFE TIME". This must be a
philosophy of a good teacher. In my opinion, a teacher should be
patient and kind, flexible and resourceful, tolerant and open minded with a
good sense of humor. A teacher should also be honest, helpful, humble and
modest. I really would like to express thousand millions of gratitude to all my
teachers since I was a school child until now. It is true that learning process
never end until the day we took our last breath.
