Blessed

Bismillah...

I thought that i could never say this after what i have gone through.

I AM SO BLESSED..

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

I wont and i really hope i didnt ever forget how Allah have blessed me all this while.

Life has been so much of ups and downs for the past years.

I know my path is nothing big, fancy, complicated, or devastated compared to others. But im driving on a road called life, and that road was named after mine. Life of Muhsina, me, Muhsina!. Not some Mina, Ching, Felton, Muthusamy, Ali or others (just stating some random-not related-common-none that i know names). And i wont be able to tell about others' life cause im not living their life.

As far as i can remember is when i had some common-typical teenagers quarrel with my bestfriends, finishing highscool and lost all my friends contact numbers cause i misplaced that so-called-precious biodata book back in 2007 (when nowadays everyone has facebook, whatsapp, etc and getting connected is not the main problem anymore -_-), then entering medschool when the reality is i have never even imagine being a doctor except that one tiny moment during my prayer (solah) i had that one distractive thought that crossed my mind 'what life might be if i become a doctor?' (Solat tak khusyuk, my God) After i had that persuasive-kind-of-like conversation with my dad about what should i persue after finishing SPM, then sailing through medical school like nobody bussiness;

actually to be honest i am really blessed to pass medschool because i always have that bad habits; been doing last minute work, skip classess, i didnt like study group and i hate when somebody discussing things that i didnt know (really bad examples shall i say, please adik2 dont follow this habit of mine, BAD habit), i really didnt put high hope in every exams; my moto was 'passing is a blessing' and Alhamdulillah when the result of final exam is out and my name was called DR Muhsina, i cried my heart out, because deep down inside i know i didnt deserve it.(Double blessed!!) T-T

Then despite the colourful (mostly black and grey but they still colours anyway) moment of housemanship phase, Allamdulillah i manage to complete housemanship without any extension + that 3 months confinement (wuhuu, that time feeling like a normal housewife waiting for husband to come home from work)

Then i enter that very dark, gloomy days of my life. 5 months of hellish experience that i would never ever want to go back. I dont even need to recall it back, because that scars, it never fades even after months i escaped from there.

But passing that moment of time really teach me never to mistrust Allah, never to loss hope in Allah's blessings, never to disbelief in yourself and your close ones. Their prayers, thats the most powerful support you can have. If i didnt sail throught that moment i wouldnt know how blessed i am.

How i gain back my self confident, how i raise back after i lost that battle, how i grow and bloom again after that heavy rainfall.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for that i call a blessing as well.. big blessing that shaped me again.

Even now and then, i trully believe that when we surrounded by good people, we will be good as well. I am blessed as i have really good people around me in this place. those staffs that i can jokes around with, share the bad and good days, helping each other, concern for each others meal; my God, they are really melting my heart with their acts. As simple as 'Hi doktor, sihat?', 'doktor nak pesan apa2 kami nak beli makanan ni', 'doktor kami simpankan air doktor dlm peti ais takut nnt tak sedap' uwaaa akak2 dan adik2 nurses, u guys are the best. So sweet of u guys.

All in all, i am now convince that NEVER EVER loss hope in Allah's blessing, as everything that happen is for a reason. Allah wants to make you stronger, Allah wants you to trust Him, Allah wants you to pray to Him, Allah wants you to put Him 1st. Why?

Simply because He doesnt give someone things that person cant handle. 2: 286. Within your capacity. Believe that.

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. ILY Allah. T-T